Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize