Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
