The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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