And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
