who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
