Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
