so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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