She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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