Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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