Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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