apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
