How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
