Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
