their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this will be a night to untag.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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