i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
