Sponge bath it is.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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