I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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