So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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