my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
