I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
