Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Randomize
