Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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