Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
