By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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