38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
As shirtless as possible
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
