she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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