scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
