Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
3 2 1 whiskey
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
