Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize