i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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