Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I will die if light touches me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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