why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
