the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
