Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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