I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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