I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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