this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
