I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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