bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize