White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
