please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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