Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
