well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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