You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
