She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
