Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
