What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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