I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Please don't give away my fajitas
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
