He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Little spoons don't ask big questions
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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