none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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