last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize