so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
