Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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