so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
