Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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