it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize