He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She said her name was "party"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
