If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
