We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize