Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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