Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize