I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
