3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
