Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
