when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
