O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
