There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
