You're so nebulous sometimes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
