it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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