to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
