Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
