i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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