the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
