Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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