wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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