she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
