ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize